I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
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