hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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