what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
