She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Please don't give away my fajitas
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
