Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
