How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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