Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
