all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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