dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
