i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
