hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
