I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize