i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
