im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
