I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize
