My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
