umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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