Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
