Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
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