White coat. Heels.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
