after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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