This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
