Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
