Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
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