I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
