I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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