...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
