turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
