Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
