As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
