i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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