kristin has been a bad kristin
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
