he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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