you guys were way drunker than both of me
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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