We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
