on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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