So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
God, I missed his penis.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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