Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
