I want to stick my p in your. b.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
