I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
