question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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