yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Randomize
