Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Randomize
