I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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