Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
