Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
