i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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