Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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