Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
