ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize