Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
