I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
