dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
