i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
