So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
All the doctor said was why
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
