There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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