I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Randomize
