Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
