Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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