Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
