You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Randomize
