We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
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