That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
