just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
