If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
