He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Randomize
