We're facebook friends in real life
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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