so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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