This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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