We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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