Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
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