I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize