I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
