...so i touched it.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
